Pulsar 1
by JMK758
Summary: A Virtual Show sends its Virtual Stars on a Virtual Talk Show for a Virtual Promotional Tour. Spoiler alert: Read 'Cross and Crown'. AU. Note: No real person.


Disclaimer: Paramount and UPN own the copyrights on 'Star Trek Enterprise', and no attempt is made to infringe upon them. All other extra characters are my own. This story would be the 17th if it were a direct part of the sequence, rather than a story that stands outside of it. Consider this an AU (Alternate Universe) Story.

Much is being made on some websites regarding a 'Virtual Season 5', so this is an extension of that thought. My work may not be considered part of the 'Virtual Season' by anybody but me, but that's good enough for me. Though it continues my on-going series, which is actually set sometime around the latter part of the Second Season (I'm a weekend writer), it deals with the logical extension that a virtual show would send its virtual stars to a virtual talk show for a virtual promotion. This promotional appearance on 'Pulsar' immediately follows the airing of the episode 'Cross and Crown'.

Spoiler Alert: You'll want to read 'Cross and Crown' or a lot of the surprises in it won't be.

Important Note: The person referred to here as 'MR' is **_not_** Dominic Keating. Any use of real people in fiction on the web is illegal. In my 'episodes' and this promotional interview, Mr. Keating does _not_ portray Malcolm Reed. The actor that does is simply another good looking Irishman who happens to strongly resemble him.

Pulsar

By JMK758

Camera One activates on a medium shot of a small carpeted sound stage containing a desk on the far right, behind which is seated a blonde woman of indeterminate age, wearing a blue blouse. On the wall behind the stage is a three dimensional bass relief of the show's stellar emblem. There are two other white chairs on the stage, to the audience's left of the desk. As the lights come up an audience cue light has signaled for applause.

MMcK: "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to another episode of '_Pulsar'_, the show that delves behind the scenes of our favorite Sci-Fi programs. I'm your host Mary McKnight, and this evening we have a special treat. From the hit series 'Enterprise' we have one of its hottest stars; one whom I am certain needs absolutely no introduction. He plays the charismatic Armory Officer, 'Lt. Malcolm Reed'. So, without any further ado, let's bring him out."

Camera Two takes a medium shot of the curtain on the far left just as a man, dressed in a contemporary blue suit, steps out and crosses the stage to cataclysmic applause, whistles and numerous screams which completely overwhelm the 'Enterprise' opening theme. Under the din, he steps up to the desk, gives the host a kiss on the cheek and takes the seat closest to her. The welcoming noise drowns out their first few words before the audience condescends to give in to the appeal of the franticly flashing 'Quiet' light high above.

MMcK: "Once again, welcome. In keeping with 'Pulsar's' long-running custom, I hope you don't mind if we speak this evening to 'Malcolm'."

MR: I think the fans would be disappointed if you didn't – to say nothing of the powers that be."

MMcK: "And the less said about them, the better." (Laughter.) "So, Malcolm, quite a show this evening. Congratulations."

MR: "Thank you."

MMcK: We've seen quite a few interesting sides of you this evening. You were the star of scenes you weren't even in."

MR: "Yes, I guess this was very much a 'Malcolm Reed' episode. Tonight we got further into the character than we have done all season."

MMcK: "I'm sure that must be very gratifying."

MR: "Of course."

MMcK: "I for one have to confess that I was surprised by a lot of the things that were revealed about your past, and about the _inner_ Malcolm."

MR: "Well, you haven't seen anything yet."

MMcK: "I look forward to it. Tonight we're also here to introduce one of the newer members of the cast. You all 'met' her tonight in the break-out role of 'Mother Patricia McCabe'; so let's welcome the talented and lovely Rosa Arnell."

Camera Two again frames the curtain, from behind which steps a tall woman with long, flowing chestnut hair. She is wearing a floor length white gown with 'subtle' cleavage. This time the applause is strong, but the 'Enterprise' opening theme can almost be heard. As she crosses the stage, MR rises to give her a kiss on the cheek in greeting, which she returns, then she greets Mary. MR moves out one seat, giving the one closest to the desk to Rosa. The music and applause fade.

MMcK: "Welcome, Miss Arnell. May I call you Rosa?"

RA: "Of course."

MMcK: "So, this is a different look for you." (She indicates the white gown.)

RA: "Yes, on the show I wear black trousers and a royal blue shirt with a white collar. It's good to get into a dress again, if only for a little while."

MMcK: "Tonight was your first episode."

RA: "First one."

MMcK: "How many have you filmed so far?"

RA: "A few. I'm not supposed to tell. The Producer wants to keep people guessing."

MMcK: "About a lot of things, it seems. So, you play a Priestess, the Enterprise's new Chaplain."

RA: "A Priest, yes. I'm brought on board as part of a viewpoint by the UESPA, the United Earth Space Probe Agency, that there is a need for 'Spiritual Guidance' aboard starships in deep space. But I'm also a psychologist and that's where I see a lot of my usefulness on board ship going."

MMcK: "The UESPA. We've heard of them before."

MR: "Oh, yes. They've gotten their claws into us before, most notably in the episode 'Acquisition', when they decided 'Tia Anlor' was just too unique to be aboard a starship and not probably in a lab somewhere."

MMCK: "Now they send you aboard Enterprise to minister to, what, half a dozen religions?"

RA: "Well, 'Commander Tucker' has a line about something like five that he knows of, not to mention Denobulan, Vulcan and Auran."

MMcK: "They just don't _get_ it, do they?" (Laughter from the audience.)

RA: "No, they don't."

MMcK: "Let's discuss that costume. Every Priest wears that in the 22nd Century?"

RA: Oh, yes. They've made it standard for everyone, no matter what religion. Only the cross is different. As I said, black trousers…"

MMcK: "No skirts."

RA: "No miniskirts, darn it. There's a royal blue shirt that's formal as all get-out, with a white collar which goes all the way around. It's actually a raised collar on the shirt, sort of like the old 'Nehru' collars used to be, without the opening up front, but it's bloody stiff. I always have to watch how I move my head, or I'm afraid I might cut my throat. Then there's a really lovely cross hanging from a short blue collar that matches the shirt and comes down to a point in just a few inches, so if you look fast it looks like the cross is just … there."

MMcK: "Who designed that?"

RA: "For the show?"

MMcK: "No, in the context of the show."

RA: "It was designed by consensus, all the denominations got together."

MMcK: "By Committee."

RA: "By Committee. It's really elegant, if simple. It looks great on the guys, but they had no _idea_ what the well dressed Woman Priest should wear."

MMcK: "So, if you were designing, what? Miniskirt?"

RA: (Laughing.) "Definitely mini. And some cleavage."

MR: "I don't think the Church is ready for miniskirts and cleavage." (She looks at him with an enticing smile.)

RA: (Seductively) "You've never seen me in a mini and scoop halter, babe."

MR: (Aside.) "I've _got_ to talk to those writers!" (Laughter from all.)

MMcK: "So, Malcolm, love interest?"

MR: "Well, I figured first 'Hoshi' found someone, then 'Trip', then 'Liz Cutler'. Finally I went to the writers and said 'Hey, what about _me_?'

MMcK: "And look what happened."

MR: "They did it to me in spades."

RA: (Faking a sob.) "You don't love me."

MR: (He puts his arm around her, giving her a hug.) "That's for the audience to find out."

RA: (Patting MR's hand at her shoulder.) "He really does, you know. He just won't admit it."

MR: (Pulling his hand back and acting very uncomfortable in stiff-upper-lip-Brit fashion.) "Mother McCabe and I have a … history together." (He 'admits' with fake reluctance.)

MMcK: "You were going to get married at one time, weren't you?"

MR: "We grew up in a small community; we actually spent our lives on Earth less than a kilometer apart. We met in Primary School, went though Secondary, College, and were four months away from getting hitched when we broke it off. I went into the Military, then into space. She went to the Seminary and now, years later, we suddenly find ourselves thrust back together."

RA: "I almost faint when I come face-to-face with him. It was a shock for both of us. Only now we're not young lovers; I'm a Priest and he's a Military man."

MR: "And you're a murder suspect."

RA: "_Yes_! Hours after coming aboard I'm the only logical suspect in a murder case, and Malcolm has to investigate it. So, instead of spending the first day or so aboard getting to know my new 'flock' I'm defending myself from a murder charge."

MMcK: "Of another Priest."

RA: "Of another _Priest_, can you believe it?" (She exclaims, laughing.)

MMcK: "What was the writer thinking about?"

RA: "He brought me aboard memorably."

MR: "Best of all, 'Archer' and the others see the evidence as possibly pointing to McCabe and I being in collusion, so now they're not sure about _me_." (Makes a show of seating himself properly in the seat.) "But they realize that, the kind of person I am, I could never be involved in murder or a cover-up."

RA: "Riiiight. Remember, I know you better than they do. I could tell them a thing or two about the _real_ Malki Reed!"

MMcK: "_Malki_?"

MR: "Her old nick-name for me."

RA: "And I was 'Patti-Cake'."

MMcK: "You're right; you two do have an interesting 'history'." (To Rosa.) "You must have some things on him you could reveal."

RA: "You have _no_ idea."

MMcK: (To MR.) "Better be careful."

MR: "'Careful' is my middle name."

RA: "Actually, it's –."

MR: "_Hush_!"

MMcK: "So, in the end you find yourself cleared of that charge, reunited with your long-lost love; but the road of love is not smooth, is it?"

RA: "I should say not."

MR: "I have an absolutely _terrible_ time with her being on board. Absolutely terrible. I actually go to the Captain and ask him to choose the other Priest. That is, until we find out he's already dead."

MMcK: "You wanted her off the ship?"

MR: "Yes."

MMcK: (Looks Rosa, who adopts a sexy pose, over; and then fixes MR with a piercing look.) "You need your head examined!" (Laughter from the audience, as well as the two actors.)

MR: "I think you're right. But Malcolm, he simply cannot deal with her. At first he just wants the time together to be cut short, before he is hurt again. He was, and is, deeply in love with her, and she's only due to be aboard three days. If he has to lose her again, which is what he's afraid is going to happen, he wants it over with fast, to minimize the pain to an old but still raw wound. He's forgotten until now just how fresh that wound still is. He wants to keep her, but it's out of his hands."

MMcK: "But he's a senior officer. He has influence with the Captain when the decision has to be made. In fact, he does try to use his influence."

MR: "But in the wrong way, to get her off the ship. And that's his big problem. He's spent all this time building up this 'stiff-upper-lip-British' persona, where he doesn't let anyone in to see his softer side; and now it all comes back to bite him on the ass." (MR looks about.) "Can I say 'ass' on hyperchannel?"

MMcK: "You just did."

RA: "Twice."

MR: "Sorry."

RA: "Tushy."

MR: (Thinks it over for a moment.) "Malcolm's not a 'tushy' kind of guy." (Rosa makes a show of leaning back to look behind him.)

RA: "Too bad. You have a really nice one." (Wild applause, whistles and numerous screams from the female half of the audience. MR turns cherry red.)

MMcK: "So, you just can't break down."

MR: "I have to tell 'Archer' and 'Trip' about our history, but I ask them to keep it secret. Not only because of my privacy, which is the reason I give them, but I have a lot of trouble with her being a Priest. If she were not, I might be able to think of resuming our lives, but much as I really want to; I can't."

RA: "Which is actually a pity, because if we did get together, I could marry us."

MMcK: "That would be something. Take a burden off Archer."

MR: "I think that's why 'Kirk' did it in 'Balance of Terror', to get around that whole issue of religion. Besides, in those days ship Captains _could_ – and then Maritime Law had to go and take that right away."

MMcK: "But would Malcolm want his wife to marry him in that sense as well?"

MR: "I'm not at all sure he could deal with it."

RA: "He has so much trouble, and I can't understand it because I knew the man he was, the man he really _is_; not the one he wants everyone to believe he is. But at one point I say to him something like 'it took you half a day just to say 'hello'. Now I'm really having a bad day; my friend is dead and they think I did it; I'm alone among strangers, really miserable and depressed. I come to you looking for understanding. Just what does it _take_ to get a _hug_?'"

MMcK: (In mock accusation.) "What's your _problem_?"

MR: "I just cannot get it around my head that she's a Priest. And that's interesting since we're both Episcopalians on the show, and there has never been a restriction against socializing and marriage. Even Vatican 7, decades ago, lifted that restriction in the Roman Church, which had been the last 'hold-out', because after the post-atomic horror there was, what, one priest for every thirty eight hundred people, or something like that. So I'm reacting to a 'restriction' that hasn't existed in my lifetime."

RA: "I even try to find out if it's the raiment I wear, my 'Clerical uniform' as it were. I want to remove it, to have him see me as a woman -." (Applause and cat calls from the other half of the audience.) "Not like _that_! But he won't let me."

MMcK: "Sounds like you're going to need to be more of a Psychologist than a Minister here."

RA: "Watch. My role goes through all kinds of things."

MR: "Especially when she comes right out and says she's not cloistered. The implication is that she's not celibate either."

MMcK: "At least she wasn't with _you_." (Laughter.)

MR: "No, we definitely have a history together. And that too is really clogging Malcolm's jets. He _says_ he doesn't feel guilty, but just watch."

MMcK: "So, do Malcolm and Patricia get together?" (The actors look at one another.)

MR: "That would be telling."

MMcK: "Well, when we left you, 'Patricia', you were still wondering how you and Malcolm were going to play it. Are you his former girl-friend, fiancé, or what? How close to the vest are you two going to play this relationship?"

RA: "Oh, we're not going to play it close to any vest. I won't _allow_ it."

MR: "Yes, even though I did ask 'Archer' and 'Trip' to keep it to themselves; once she was formally assigned to the ship that became impossible. There's no need to let any of the crew in on the intimate details, obviously, but everyone is going to know that we have this history, and some of our closer friends are going to know that she and I were going to get married and all."

RA: "To do any less would be to live a lie, and that I will not tolerate. Of course, I try to be sympathetic to Malcolm, who is really going through a wringer because his private life is standing right next to him for all to see.

"And it also puts a strain on our relationship, because in public we both have to behave with absolute decorum. There are very strict rules in both of our professions, and Malcolm is the epitome of keeping to the rules; especially if it involves privacy, so we're going to be very professional in public. I'm not going to be perceived as playing favorites either in my new congregation."

MR: "But there will be times that I'm going to skoche that circuit that records door usage." (Laughter from audience.) "After all, we do have to have some privacy."

MMcK: "So, what does the future hold for 'Mother Patricia McCabe'?"

RA: (After a quick, confirming glance with MR.) "Nothing overt. Now that I've had my establishing episode, I'm kind of in the background. I have a few scenes in episodes – I sort of appear when the time is right – but on the whole I don't really carry a story again. I'll be doing a little Counseling, it'll be understood that I am still doing Services attended by the faithful, but a lot of times you'll see me socially in one scene or another. Sometimes I'll be mentioned but not even appear. I'll be like Dr. Salar on 'Next Generation'. Or more like 'Yoda' in the classic 'Star Wars' films: I'll be in a scene, give my words of wisdom at just the right moment, then you won't see me again for a week or two."

MMcK: "But what will we be seeing you doing?"

RA: (Smiling at her persistence.) "Well, in talking to the Producers, there are plans for a wedding coming up in a couple of months."

MMcK: "You and Malcolm?"

RA: "No. Someone else. I'm not at liberty to say. And if we last that long, you might even see a Christening."

MMcK: "For you and Malcolm?" (Laughter from audience and actors.)

RA: "No, someone else. Actually, someone else-else."

MMcK: "You're a hard woman to pin down."

MR: (sotto voce); "Tell me about it."

(Much more laughter from audience.)

RA: "Just keep watching. Things will get interesting."

MMcK: "So, speaking of 'interesting', what's this thing with 'Tia'? Pardon, 'Te-ahh'?"

MR: "That really hit us out of left field. Those pages didn't even come down until the last day of shooting and only 'Patricia', 'Hoshi' and 'Tia' got them. They even wanted 'Trip's' surprise to be natural."

RA: "I think only they, meaning the writer and director, knew. I think they wanted to keep it a secret from the audience until the very last minute. We go further on the subject of religion than anyone ever dared to go on this series, or any of the others, because for the first time ever we're discussing an Earth religion. Even in the Original Series, the chapel was very non-denominational."

MR: "The character of 'Tia' is invested with openness such as no one else can get away with. There is no guile in Tia, because in her early days; her entire life, in fact; she was a slave. Everything in her public life was guile. She had to be that way to survive. Plus, she's about twenty two, or by her planet's calendar about nineteen. She was recruited; maybe forcibly, we never really learn how; into a quasi-military underground that taught her how to shoot, how to fight, tactics on how to wage an urban guerilla war against an overwhelmingly superior force while at the same time maintaining her persona as a harmless young woman who you'd never think would know one end of a gun from another. In unarmed combat she's absolutely devastating – as I have the misfortune to find out in an early episode.

"Now, aboard Enterprise, she tries to forcibly divorce herself from all that, to regain the innocence she's lost, to actually remake herself into what she once was. In the episode 'House of Cards', which was part of what came to be known as the 'Caldis Arc', her desire to regain her innocence comes out very strongly. One of the ways she does that is to abandon all guile and pretense, which was so much a part of her life. When she's happy, which is seemingly all the time as she experiences her new life and embraces this thing called 'freedom', she is colossally happy and everyone around her knows it. In one episode, 'Acquisition', she lets out this shriek of ecstasy on the bridge and starts jumping up and down with everyone, hugging and dancing them around, leaping from one bridge officer to another. T'Pol manages to get out of the way and gives Archer this glare like 'do something', and he just stands there with his arms folded enjoying the whole chaotic melee.

"All her emotions are like that, very much on the surface. Like I said, when she's happy everyone knows it – and she seems to exist in this universe of ecstasy that the rest of us only touch occasionally. When she's curious, she's intensely curious; when she's depressed it's like she's looking up from the bottom of an abyss; and when she's mad – watch out!"

MMcK: "But this is different."

MR: "This time we take her in a whole new direction. She's already had a major change in her life, something called the 'luuru', where she's grown up about ten earth years in one day, which actually puts her more like Trip's apparent physical age even though she hasn't changed in chronological age. But while she's still trying to adjust to that, to find her new place with us, we hit her with a revelation at the end of the episode that just totally _devastates_ her!"

RA: "It doesn't do _me_ too much good either. I mean, talk about a crisis of Faith. We spend all our time in the Clergy preaching about God, about his Universal Reality; Omniscience, Omnipotence and Omnipresence. But to have _proof_ of it literally put into my lap…"

MR: "We figuratively pull the entire universe out from under both Tia and McCabe's feet. And there is no one who can help Tia because she won't allow anyone but Hoshi and McCabe to learn of it, and they are just as shaken."

RA: "McCabe has been preparing, she thinks, for this all her life. She talks about being on the Path for years, long before she entered the Seminary, only to find in the end that she only _thought_ she was prepared. She hasn't been prepared for it _at all_."

MR: "The implications are so stunning, and yet when you think about it, so logical, that it goes beyond anything we've ever tried in speculative alien religions. We've done, and commented on, dozens of _alien_ beliefs and customs, but they never touched _us_. This one hits us right at home."

RA: "Tia actually becomes, for a time, something of a protégé to McCabe, because McCabe has the background to explain it, but we're going to find she can't explain it at all. She came aboard Enterprise to minister and lead, and then almost immediately she is thrown into a crisis of faith she is by no means ready for. Everything she ever knew about God and Religion gets turned on its ear. She'd go from Guide to Pilgrim, if she even had the slightest clue about where she was going. All she is sure of is that she must be getting closer to God, because this is scaring the Hell out of her.

MMcK: Do those writers have it in for you?"

RA: Sometimes I wonder.

MMcK: Well, you'll come back and let us know, won't you?"

RA: "I surely will."

MR: "We all hope to be coming back for more."

MMcK: "Speaking of which, we hope you all come back for more. I'm Mary McKnight and you're watching 'Pulsar', the show that gets us closer to the Sci-Fi stars. I'd like to thank 'Malcolm' and Rosa, 'Star Trek: Enterprise'. You've been great. When we return from the break we'll welcome, from 'Battlestar Galactica', 'Commander William Adama' and 'President Laura Roslin'…"

(Thunderous applause over the 'Enterprise' theme…)


End file.
